bay area · humor · kids · marriage · motherhood · parenthood

5 profound things i’ve learned from my family

Like all personal insights, there are things about family life that must be learned from one’s own experience. However, I can only hope that the wisdom I have gleaned through my own personal struggles as a wife and mother will be of help to others and save someone pain. Thus I bring you: 5 Profound… Continue reading 5 profound things i’ve learned from my family

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beauty · body hair · hair removal · humor · motherhood

sam on hair

My friend Stacy, who is 10 years older than me but similarly hirsute, recently took the following hair inventory: Face and throat: Growing like wildfire. Vagina: Can’t keep up. Accepting sea anemone-like state. Brows: Bald spots and cowlicks. Using Lady Rogaine. Lower legs: No hair. Upper legs: Random 2-inch-long sprouts. Big toes: Long, dark, curb-feeler… Continue reading sam on hair

babies · baby · breastfeeding · humor · kids · motherhood · pregnancy

i don’t want to see your boobies

Nothing makes me feel quite so inadequate as the sight of a well-dressed woman with a baby nursing discreetly at her breast like a stylish accessory. I have tried nursing bras and nursing tops, blankets, burpies and hooter hiders. I am apparently just not up to the mechanical challenge of covering my breasts while nursing… Continue reading i don’t want to see your boobies

Berkeley · humor · husband · kids · marriage · motherhood

berkeley bowl

Today Boyd, Lila, Lou and I braved Berkeley Bowl together, our first major grocery run as a family of four. Berkeley Bowl is my least favorite place, but there’s no denying that it’s cheaper and has a better selection than Whole Foods. So, I agreed to go despite the inevitable brushes with patchouli-dipped hipsters “being… Continue reading berkeley bowl

babies · baby · breastfeeding · childbirth · humor · kids · motherhood · newborn · pregnancy

presenting lou

Beautiful Lou was born at 10:56 am on March 7th, weighing 8 pounds, 8 ounces. Everything at the hospital went just great, from the surgery itself to the nurses assigned to me before and after. Lou and I spent four quiet days and nights there in a blissful state of grogginess, gazing at one another… Continue reading presenting lou

babies · baby · breastfeeding · childbirth · fat · humor · husband · kids · marriage · motherhood · newborn · pregnancy · weight gain

golden girl

Boyd and I agree that this will be our last child. There is a small part of me that feels sad at that idea, and of never experiencing this amazing and miraculous pregnancy thing again. It is, after all, an incredible thing to feel another little body growing and moving inside your own. But mostly,… Continue reading golden girl

babies · baby · childbirth · humor · husband · marriage · motherhood · pregnancy

hell hath no fury

When your biggest fantasy about your husband is waking him up just so you can punch him in the face, it’s fair to say that things are not good. Lately, the onslaught of pregnancy hormones have combined with sheer exhaustion to create a cocktail of primal rage that is really not good for the marital… Continue reading hell hath no fury

baby · beauty · humor · marriage · maternity · motherhood · oakland · parenthood · pregnancy · weight gain

gingerbread baby

When I was pregnant with Lila, I ate like something out of Fit Pregnancy magazine. Vegetables, fruits, fish, flax … and certainly no flour or sugar. My biggest vice was the occasional handful of prunes, which I craved constantly but only indulged in now and then due to the high sugar content. In addition to… Continue reading gingerbread baby

baby · birth · childbirth · humor · maternity · motherhood · parenthood · pregnancy · weight gain

preggie pops

So here I am, pregnant with our second child and, I don’t mind adding, sick as a motherfucker. I am nauseated absolutely all of the time, but this has in no way hampered my nearly overnight transformation from a normal-sized person to a very fat person. I am suddenly and completely huge. Consuming roughly 80,000… Continue reading preggie pops