Like all personal insights, there are things about family life that must be learned from one’s own experience. However, I can only hope that the wisdom I have gleaned through my own personal struggles as a wife and mother will be of help to others and save someone pain. Thus I bring you: 5 Profound… Continue reading 5 profound things i’ve learned from my family
LILA: Don’t you want to hold my hand? ME: Of course! I love to hold your little hand. LILA: Do you love all the little parts of my hand, like all the little nails and everything? ME: Yes! I love all your parts. Every freckle and every hair. I even love the parts that you… Continue reading an actual conversation
Today I told Boyd that what I want for my birthday this year is for him to remove – and preferably destroy – the clock on my kitchen wall. I have lived with this merry musical blight for one year, seven months and 29 days, ever since my mother-in-law gave it to Lila for Christmas.… Continue reading the clock
If you’re at the grocery store, and the cashier looks at your belly and asks when the baby is due, and you say you still have 12 weeks to go, and he says, “Holy shit,” is that bad?
Months ago, I made the transition from a person who would never wear an elastic waist to someone who will wear nothing but. Now in my sixth month of pregnancy and gigantic beyond belief, I have crossed into strange new territory where even the elastic waist is too constricting. When it’s time to get dressed… Continue reading fling wear
When I was pregnant with Lila, I ate like something out of Fit Pregnancy magazine. Vegetables, fruits, fish, flax … and certainly no flour or sugar. My biggest vice was the occasional handful of prunes, which I craved constantly but only indulged in now and then due to the high sugar content. In addition to… Continue reading gingerbread baby
I love our marriage therapist, Paula. She gets all teary in sympathy at my now-sixth consecutive month of morning sickness, and kindly insists that I am not as fat as I think I am. But what endears her to me most is that she looks like someone who would have a really nice house to… Continue reading nap at your house?
So here I am, pregnant with our second child and, I don’t mind adding, sick as a motherfucker. I am nauseated absolutely all of the time, but this has in no way hampered my nearly overnight transformation from a normal-sized person to a very fat person. I am suddenly and completely huge. Consuming roughly 80,000… Continue reading preggie pops
My lack of recent posts is due to a bout of paralysis after the unpleasant aftermath of my post, “The Party Guest.” Apparently, even when nobody but your husband knows that you have a blog (which means that nobody on earth actually reads your blog), google searches still work. Thus, people who have their names… Continue reading PTSD
Four weeks after Lila was born, I joined a moms’ group with other new moms who had babies of the same age. There are ten of us in all and, miraculously, they are all people I’d have chosen to be friends with. In fact, the absence of a Designated Misfit, or at least a discernible… Continue reading the party guest
Lila has developed a new mealtime technique, and has been kind enough to teach it to me. I think you will agree that to keep it to myself would be a disservice to my community. Thus, I have printed it here. If you are eating something, and you see someone else eating something that looks… Continue reading life’s too short, baby