baby · childbirth · humor · husband · marriage · motherhood · pregnancy

what not to say

I love Boyd. However, when the stakes are high, he does not exactly thrive under pressure. I give you the following exchange:

Me: “I am as big as a house. There is no clothing anywhere on the planet that is big enough to fit me. I can barely walk across the room without passing out, never mind take care of Lila. I am a terrible parent. I can’t possibly take care of this new baby. You’re probably wishing you had married someone who could be a better mother. You’re probably wondering what happened to the old me. You’re probably revolted at the sight of me. I don’t even feel like a woman anymore, just a gigantic ball of fat. Please, don’t even look at me.”

Boyd: “Awww, Honey. You’re still a woman.”


One thought on “what not to say

  1. I can so hear Boyd saying that! That said, the other day when I said to Vikram, “I am a hideous whale and soon I will be bald” (yes you have the hair falling out thing to look forward to), his reply was, “You’re crazy.” Yes, dear. I am.

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